The Walking Dead Wiki: Whodunit?/Issue 1
Issue 1 of The Walking Dead Wiki: Whodunit?. Published on April 1, 2014. Last Issue: N/A - Next Issue Issue 2 Plot Synopsis ~Gravelord has joined the survivors!~ There he sits, lonely Gravelord. He is on TWD wiki chat, but it is empty. To distract himself, he decides to play some inFAMOUS, but he is so bad at it. He throws his controller in rage, which hits his figurine of TV Andrea, smashing it on the floor. Grave cries a cry that would make ones scrotum shrivel up back inside. He drags himself over to the computer where he sees that Narutoulez has joined the chat. Narutorulez: hey Gravelord: Howdy Narutorulez: where r u Gravelord: Huh? Narutorulez: i sed where r u Gravelord: Huh? Narutorulez: we r at masta’s dinner thing. I thort u would be getting an invite. Huhlord: Huh? Narutorulez: masta invited about 11 of us 2 cum over to his house in Brisbane. Hes sum sort of millinair that can afford 4 all of us to cum. He paid 4 our tickets. Gravelord: That’s weird…I live in Brisbane, too. He lives around the corner from me to be exact. It is a big mansion, I know the one. I might pop around to have a look. Grave immediately shuts his computer screen, puts on some clothes, licks a picture of Paul Monroe, and walks out the front door. But, he missed a final message from Naruto. Narutorulez: bring help! There is weird shit goin on!! I think masta is dead! Whilst walking out the house, which can be seen as a shine to The Big Bang Theory, Grave is stopped by his dog, Sheldon. Sheldon: Where you going Grave? Gravelord: Fuck off, Sheldon. I don’t have time for your stupid shit. Sheldon: Wow, I was just looking out for you. Screw you too, buddy. Grave: Prick. Grave flips off his dog and makes his way over to Masta’s Mansion. ---- 4 hours earlier... A taxi pulls up infront of Masta’s mansion. Out comes Hippo. He sees two other people standing by the front gate, and introduces himself to them. Hippo: Hey guys! You from the wiki? Derk: Yeah! I’m Derk, and this is Dom. Hippo: Wow! So the squad is officially together! We just need Bloxx and we will be set. Derk: Yeah! I’m looking forward to this dinner though. I’m starving. Hippo: Same. There is totally nothing weird about Masta inviting all of us to dinner in his mansion in Australia, right? Derk: Yeah totally. Derk once again rings the doorbell, hoping to get an answer. Finally, the front gates open and the three make their way down a concrete footpath, surrounded by daisies and lilacs. They get to the front door, which has no bell, but only a doorknocker in the shape of a scrotum. Before they can knock on the door with the balls, it opens. Greeting them is a beautiful, tall, blonde haired woman. Dom, Hippo, and Derk’s jaws drop. Hippo: Is it…is that you, Kaley? The blonde haired woman opens her mouth. Sidney: No, the name’s Sidney. I am Master Mitch’s wife. I know your faces. Nice to meet you, Hippo, Dom, and Derk. Suddenly, a look of realization comes over Derk’s face. Derk: Wait a second…Masta and Bloxx pretend that they are a married couple in chat…they call themselves Sidney and Mitch. Hippo: You’re not saying what I think you’re saying… Sidney: Yes, I’m Bloxx. I’ve been living here for two weeks with Masta. Oh, he is just, perfect. Derk: But Bloxx, you sound so manly in Skype. I’ve seen a photo of you before, what the hell? Sidney: Masta paid for my sex change operation. I have to sit down when I pee now, that’s how womanly I am. Derk: K Hippo: K Sidney: K Hippo: Kenny, Katjaa, Kenny Jr… Derk: Shut up, fgt. Sidney: None of this nonsense! Let me take you to the viewing room where the rest of the guests are! Sidney directs the three members of $QUAD down a dark hallway. Across the walls are paintings and portraits of Masta, as well as ‘#heel’ written on almost everything. Sidney brings them into a viewing room, which has a wrestling ring built in the middle. Sidney leads Hippo, Dom, and Derk into the middle of the ring. She picks up a microphone. Sidney: Now that everyone is finally here, we can begin! In the ring with me is DominicT22, InsaneHippo, and DarkShadow667! Everyone give them a round of applause! The crowd cheers for the $QUAD. Sidney directs them over to their very own seats at ringside. Hippo sits next to some enormous brit wearing a RayWilliamJohnson shirt and a girl he instantly recognizes as Katie. Katie: Hippo! Sup cunt! Hippo: Katie! Nice to meet you! Cam? Is that you? I recognize you from your avatar. Cam: Yes, it is I, CamTheWoot. It is a pleasure to be in your company, goodfellow. Hippo falls on the floor laughing, presumably at Cam’s voice. Derk and Dom sit on the other side of Cam and Katie, where they bump into Ghost and Kaley. Kaley: Hey guys! Nice to meet you! Ghost: DERK! Derk: You too, Kaley! Ghost! Luv u bro! no homo! Ghost: No homo! Derk and Ghost hug it out whilst yelling ‘no homo’ over and over again at the top of their lungs. Once finished, Ghost puts his arm around Kaley. Derk: When did this happen?!? Ghost: On the plane. We just kinda, clicked. Derk: Nice, congratulations you two. Ghost: I LOVE KALEY! ITS FREAKING TRUE! Derk: (wat) Ghost begins to have a mad hookup with Kaley. Derk, feeling uncomfortable, decides to leave and makes his way over to a couple of other fgts who have their laptops out. Dom stays and watches Kaley and Ghost. The other fgts are Lee, Juan, Tommy, and Naruto, who are all playing a game of ToS. Derk: Uhh…hi. Lee: Hey Naruto: Hey Tommy: Hey Juan: Que onda Derk: You fgts are seriously playing ToS now? Juan: Sim, não há mais nada a fazer. De qualquer forma, como foi a sua viagem de avião? Ansioso para o jantar? Derk: K Derk decides to leave the ToS gang and sits on his lonesome. The lights dim, and Sidney’s voice is heard over the microphone. A ring bell rings. Sidney: This following contest is an open invitational match scheduled for onefall! Introducing first, any random member from the audience that wants a 1 on 1 match with Masta! Ghost throws Kaley up off him, gets out of his seat, takes off his shirt, and enters the ring. Sidney: We have our lucky competitor! Now ladies and gentleman, it is time, for MASTA! A rockin tune starts playing as Masta makes his way down to the ring. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tkh-RitYuGg Sidney: FROM BRISBANE, AUSTRALIA. STANDING AT 6’0 INCHES TALL, WEIGHING IN AT 155 POUNDS, GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDMASSSSSSSSTAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Masta enters the ring to a massive roar. Everyone is hopping out their seats, desperately trying to lick him. Kaley gets so excited she wets her pants. The bell rings again to signal the start of Masta and Ghosts match. Ghost goes to shake his hand as a sign of respect, but Masta reverses it, puts him in a full nelson, and slams him on the mat. Sidney starts the pin. The whole crowd chants 1-2-3 while Masta is pinning Ghost. Sidney raises Masta’s hand and the crowd roars again. Kaley AND Cam piss their pants this time. Masta grabs a microphone. Masta: Hello, wiki friends! I am so excited for tonight! Only 11 of you could make it, but that’s no big deal! Lets begin the feast! The crowd cheers, as the electricity switches off. Nothing can be seen. 10 seconds later, the lights are switched back on, and Masta lies dead in the middle of the ring, covered in blood. He has had his throat slit with a dagger in the viewing room. Everyone goes crazy, and starts screaming. Hippo grabs Dom and Derk and the three begin to run back down the hallway towards the front door. Hippo desperately tries to open it to no avail. Derk: What the fuck was that?!? Hippo: Masta was murdered! We are trapped in this mansion! Kaley pissed her pants! AND PROMS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Credits *Grave *Naruto *Sheldon the Doge *Hippo *Derk *Dom (No lines) *Sidney *Katie *Cam *Kaley *Ghost *Juan *Lee *Tommy *Masta Deaths *Masta (Murdered with a dagger in the viewing room) Trivia *First appearance of Grave *First appearance of Naruto *First appearance of Sheldon the Doge *First appearance of Hippo *First appearance of Derk *First appearance of Dom *First appearance of Sidney *First appearance of Katie *First appearance of Cam *First appearance of Kaley *First appearance of Ghost *First appearance of Juan *First appearance of Lee *First appearance of Tommy *First (and last) appearance of Masta (Alive) *This issue was completely written under improv. Category:Issues Category:Masta Category:Whodunit? Issues